Welcome to #ComedyBookWeek, an annual, online celebration of humor in writing. I’m hosting Nicki Elson and her new release, WHEN IT HOOKS YOU. You can read my 5 star review here. Today Nicki’s sharing a humorous excerpt from the book.
NICKI: I have a lot of favorite funny moments in this story, but I selected this one to share today because it’s the one that cracked me up the most while I was writing—plus it comes with a bonus fun-fact about tigers. Thanks for having me over, Jen!
JEN: This TOTALLY made me snicker. Plus, it was educational!
Excerpt from WHEN IT HOOKS YOU by Nicki Elson
The rain persisted, so they decided to stay at the museum for lunch, sitting at a table in the middle of the towering atrium that separated the historic part of the museum from the newer wing.
“This is more impressive when the sun is shining.” Lyssa frowned, her eyes raised toward the thousands of drops racing down the enormous glass wall.
“It’s still pretty cool,” Trish said. “A dreary day is sort of nice once in a while. Not every day can be sunny. Though I imagine that—” she tilted her head to indicate a spiky lime green spire; it was made entirely of glass and rose straight up from the floor near the window “—is amazing when the sun hits it.”
Lyssa sighed. “Yeah, it is. Guess this means you’ll have to come back soon so you can see it.”
“Definitely.” Trish smiled. “You know what that thing keeps making me think of?”
“What?”
“A tiger penis.”
Lyssa choked on her ice water and threw her hand to her mouth, her eyes going wide in shocked question.
“Sorry,” Trish said, not making any effort to sound the least bit remorseful. “Tigers have barbed penises. It helps them stay in while mating.”
Dabbing at her lips with her napkin, Lyssa asked, “Why do you know that?”
“After I started relating to the feline, I did a little Googling. Fascinating creature, the tiger.”
“I bring the girl to a museum, try to show her a little culture, and she turns a Chihuly into a giant phallus.”
“I’d say the artist did a fine job of that all by himself.”
Lyssa’s gaze scanned the length of the piece. “I suppose he did. Still, this could be a sign that it’s time for you to get yourself some.”
Trish laughed but declined to respond, instead giving her attention to the menu. Adam Helms was the first man to make her seriously consider losing her revirginity. If his kisses were any indication, a night of wrestling between the sheets with him could be the one way to top their perfect second date.
Category: Uncategorized
#IWSG: Ramping Up for Release
Welcome to July’s Insecure Writers Support Group, started by Alex J Cavanaugh. Join us HERE.
Happy summer in the northern hemisphere! How’s your summer going? I love swimming laps in my outdoor pool…
…and I can’t wait to watch swimming and other sports in the Olympics.
I don’t love a day job extra project that involves writing long papers with an August deadline. Fiction writing is WAY more fun!
I’m ramping up to release my next novel on 10/1/16: New Adult Sports Romance SPIKED (Blocked #3). Spiked features the awesome sport of swimming.
We plan a cover reveal and review tour as well as a Facebook party. I hope to put the first two novels on sale, too. Any other marketing strategies you recommend?
If you’d like to help host the cover reveal for Spiked on 8/1/16, sign ups are HERE.
(Warning: this cover contains another shirtless man. But my character’s personality is much more important than his abs, I swear!)
WHEN IT HOOKS YOU by @NickiElson3D #Contemporary #Romance #New #Release #Review
When It Hooks You by Nicki Elson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Hooked on Nicki Elson‘s Books!
At age 27, law firm receptionist Trish is tired of the dating scene. She’d turned down a marriage proposal from her boyfriend Kurt, but when she thinks he’ll ask again, this time she plans to say yes.
When Kurt instead dumps her, Trish comes up with a new idea: she’ll only go on three dates with any guy. After three dates is where the heartache starts. What could possibly go wrong?
Cliff is a college friend who’s also an attorney at her law firm. (I happen to love Cliff and can’t wait for his story, coming next.) Trish mistakenly thinks Cliff is gay and tries to set him up with a guy. The gay guy is suspicious about Trish matching up with a lesbian on their double-date.
“You’ve got ‘I love dick’ written all over you. You might as well wear a T-shirt proclaiming it.”
Trish’s mouth opened wide in a silent gasp.
“See?” James pointed at her lips, his finger rotating. “The perfect shape and size. You know what you want in there.”
Cliff has the hots for Trish, but she’s more intrigued by stylish businessman Adam, a client at the firm. Adam overhears Trish’s three date max plan and their flirtation begins.
When Adam takes her on a dreamboat third date, including a surprise candlelit dinner on a yacht on the Chicago River, she’s definitely impressed.
“Does this look like a good spot to drop anchor?”
“Perfect. You seriously should get a job planning dates for The Bachelor.”
Trish and Adam develop feelings for each other that transcend the three-date limit. She wants to make an exception for him, but he may be unable to veer off their careful plan due to his secret past.
I definitely enjoyed this contemporary romance, and can’t wait for the next book in the series.
View all my reviews
Nicki writes spicy fiction with a sweet and dreamy center. She does other stuff, too—like obsess over reality TV. Writing fiction wasn’t something Nicki set out to do; it just sort of happened when she realized writing reports was by far her favorite part of her investment consulting position. She traded stock allocation and diversification for story arcs and dialogue and now weaves her creative writing time in with the other activities of her busy life with her family in the Chicago suburbs.Life’s a Beach #Giveaway Hop #Giftcard #Sports #Romance
Welcome to the Life’s a Beach Hop, hosted by The Mommy Island and The Kids Did It.
The beach is one of my favorite locations! As a former college swimmer, I like to swim 30 minutes in one direction then turn around and head back to my starting point. Sometimes a fear of sharks gets lodged in my mind, but overall it’s more fun than swimming in a pool.
In addition to a gift card, I’m giving away an ebook of my college swimming romance STREAMLINE, set at the beaches of Pensacola, Florida.
Enter on the Rafflecopter.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Hop over to these beachy blogs to win more stuff! document.write(”);
Blurb Blast! SPIKED (Blocked #3) Has a Blurb #NA #Sports #Romance
If you want authors to shudder with fear and revulsion, ask them to write a BLURB.
What’s a blurb? It’s a brief summary of a story. The best blurbs hook the reader without giving away too much.
We writers are a verbose bunch and it’s tough for us to pack our narrative into a pithy punch. This is where critique partners and editors come in handy!
What characterizes your favorite blurbs? I’ve been drawn to starting with a sentence or two from the first person point of view. However, I wrote the blurbs for my first two books in the Blocked series in the third person, and wanted to stay consistent for book three.
I found a compromise for SPIKED (Blocked #3) by adding song lyrics to the blurb to capture the first person perspective of the hero Mateo, who’s a singer / songwriter.
~ * ~
#IWSG Pinterinspiration #Pinterest #Writing #Inspiration
Happy May, writers. Time to discuss our hopes and fears. Join us at Alex Cavanaugh’s blog. The amazing co-hosts for the May 4 posting of the IWSG will be Stephen Tremp, Fundy Blue, MJ Fifield, Loni Townsend, Bish Denham, Susan Gourley, and Stephanie Faris!
We writers find inspiration in the strangest places. For me, Pinterest is top on my list. I’m addicted to Pinterest, I must admit.
I like to create a Pinterest board when writing to collect images and websites that relate to the story.
For my work in progress SPIKED (Blocked #3), I’ve pinned these images:
1) Volleyball T-shirts (the heroine from Blocked has quite a collection)
2) Bad pickup lines (How Mateo gets Jessica to laugh)
What inspires YOUR writing? What’s the worst pickup line you’ve heard?
#Charity #Anthology LOVE UNRESTRICTED #GlassCity #SizzlingPR
Love Unrestricted Anthology
Published by: Glass City Author Event
- If There’s a Chance by Sidonia Rose
- Swim Recruit by Jennifer Lane
- Intoxicated by You by Michelle Iannarelli
- Leaving Eva by Jennifer Sivec
- Damaged by J. L. Perry
- Never to Keep by Aimie Gray
Amazon US – Amazon UK
Glass City Author Event Website – Glass City Author Event Tickets
Glass City Author Event Social Media: Facebook – Facebook Group – Twitter
If There’s a Chance by Sidonia Rose
Most families have rules. The Pierce family not only has rules they also have prank rules. Every rule was created because of a prank that happened. Ever wonder what really happened? The third rule says ‘If there’s a chance of an ER visit, find something else.’ That seems simple enough but why was it created?
Swim Recruit by Jennifer Lane
Intoxicated by You by Michelle Iannarelli
Tall, dark and strong, that is how Liam drinks his coffee, how Emily likes her men…. All Dr. Emily Kelly was looking for was a latte…instead, she fell for Liam…literally. Detective Liam St. Paul isn’t looking for love, he is a one night stand kind of guy…until he looked into Emily’s eyes. When Emily’s life is in danger…Liam vows to protect her. Will Emily and Liam find a way to leave their pasts behind them and move forward together? Or will their pasts tear them apart?
Leaving Eva by Jennifer Sivec
Damaged by J. L. Perry
Never to Keep by Aimie Gray
Madison Miller is broken. Nearly everyone she’s loved throughout her life has left her. Now, she’s desperate to feel something other than the pain of her most recent loss, even if it’s only for one night. Sawyer Ramsay is jaded. After witnessing his younger brother marry a woman no one can stand and years of watching his older brother’s disastrous experiences with women, the last thing he wants is a relationship. Almost a year later, fate will have the strangers crossing paths once more. Can this strong, caring woman with a complicated life convince this disillusioned man to believe in love? Will passion and desire turn into something strong enough to surmount all of life’s obstacles, or will the fear of heartache and overwhelming responsibility force Madison to accept Sawyer was never to keep?
Swim Recruit in #Charity Anthology LOVE UNRESTRICTED
I’m excited to sign books at the Glass City Author Event in Toledo, Ohio on 10/8/16.
The event organizer, Kimberley Beale, has put together an anthology to benefit the fight against human trafficking: Love Unrestricted.
Proceeds benefit RISE: Recovering Individuals from Sexual Exploitation.
#IWSG The Best Negative Reviews
Welcome to April’s Insecure Writers’ Support Group. Hop over the Alex Cavanaugh’s blog to join us!
Recently a reader friend asked, “How do I write an honest, helpful, negative review?”
Let’s discuss negative reviews. I don’t want to censor reader opinions, but merely state how I can learn best from reviews. I definitely know how frustrating and disappointing the reading experience can be. It has also become so clear to me that no author can please every reader.
As an author, I appreciate negative reviews that 1) offer specific constructive criticism, 2) make me laugh, and/or 3) acknowledge how personal preferences affect reactions.
I suggest getting specific about what’s not working for the reader. The tightness of the writing? Grammar? Pacing of the plot? Realism of characterization? Chemistry between the characters? Too many characters? Implausibility of plot?
Here are some reviews that have taught me to write better:
“There was head hopping in the third person omniscient perspective. Sometimes the same paragraph had perspectives from two different characters.”
(Thank you to two authors for sharing this wisdom about my debut novel With Good Behavior.)
“Grant is a wuss.” (This made me LOL)
“Grant cries too much.” (These reviews informed my characterization of beta men–I don’t want to make them too weak.)
“It was too depressing and covered too many issues.” (I’ve tried to lighten up later books with more humor.)
“It just didn’t work for me because…” (I like when reviewers state how their personal preferences affect the reviews, acknowledging that others might enjoy it but it just didn’t fit for them.)
Some negative reviews are not as helpful:
“This is YA, not NA.” (I get frustrated with this critique of Blocked because the age of the characters is indeed New Adult. Though it’s also my fault for choosing a sexy cover then not delivering the horizontal refreshment.)
Reviews that spoiler the reader or attack the author as a person are also not my cup of tea.
New Release: What the Clocks Know by @RumerHaven #paranormal #romance
Excited for my pub sister Rumer Haven’s spooky new release! Is it just me, or does anyone else start singing that inane song “What does the fox say?” when they read the title?
NEW RELEASE!
Released March 18, 2016
Summary:Twenty-six-year-old Margot sets out on a journey of self-discovery – she dumps her New York boyfriend, quits her Chicago job, and crashes at her friend’s flat in London. Rather than find herself, though, she only feels more lost. An unsettling energy affects her from the moment she enters the old Victorian residence, and she spirals into depression. Frightened and questioning her perceptions, she gradually suspects her dark emotions belong to Charlotte instead. Who is Charlotte? The name on a local gravestone could relate to Margot’s dreams and the grey woman weeping at the window. Finding a ghost isn’t what she had in mind when she went ‘soul searching’, but somehow Margot’s future may depend on Charlotte’s past. Woven between 21st century and Victorian London, What the Clocks Know is a haunting story of love and identity.
Author Bio:
Learn more about Rumer at:
Website – http://www.rumerhaven.com
Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/rumerhaven
Twitter – @RumerHaven
































