Welcome to the August 2020 edition of the Insecure Writers Support Group, hosted by Alex Cavanaugh.
Congratulations to my critique partner, Nicki Elson, on the launch of her 8th novel yesterday: MOLLY UNPLANNED.
Here’s my 5-star review of Miss Molly.
I’m thrilled to co-host today, along with: Susan Baury Rouchard, Nancy Gideon, Jennifer Hawes, Chemist Ken, and Chrys Fey!
Speaking of the lovely Chrys Fey, I’m part of the blog hop to celebrate her new release, Keep Writing with Fey: Sparks to Defeat Writer’s Block, Depression, and Burnout. Congratulations to Chrys! Scroll down to read my own experience with these issues.
Catch the sparks you need to conquer writer’s block, depression, and burnout!
When Chrys Fey shared her story about depression and burnout, it struck a chord with other writers. That put into perspective for her how desperate writers are to hear they aren’t alone. Many creative types experience these challenges, battling to recover. Let Keep Writing with Fey: Sparks to Defeat Writer’s Block, Depression, and Burnout guide you through:
- Writer’s block
- Depression
- Writer’s burnout
- What a writer doesn’t need to succeed
- Finding creativity boosts
With these sparks, you can begin your journey of rediscovering your creativity and get back to what you love – writing.
(The table of contents of this book looks fantastic!)
BOOK LINKS:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Chrys Fey is the author of Write with Fey: 10 Sparks to Guide You from Idea to Publication. She is also the author of the Disaster Crimes series. Visit her blog, Write with Fey, for more tips on how to reverse writer’s burnout. https://www.chrysfey.com/
Keep Writing with Fey Blog Hop: Share your story about writer’s block, depression, and/or burnout and how you overcame it or what you are currently doing to heal.
Since writing is secondary to my work as a psychologist, I write only when I feel like it. Therefore, I don’t experience much writer’s block or burnout. But I have turned to writing to deal with feelings of depression from painful events in my psychology career.
For 15 years, I have worked for two different university departments, and I don’t seem to fit well with one of them. Twice, that department has chosen to work with another psychologist instead of me. (I guess I’m a masochist for returning after the first time they let me go.) The process has been all the more agonizing due to their lack of direct communication. It was a gradual ghosting instead of a kind cutoff.
Therapy has taught me that self-talk is important for healing. When hurtful events happen, we can benefit from compassionate narratives. Since I write romance novels, some of my narratives compared getting fired to romantic rejection:
When reality sucked, I turned to fiction.
They don’t know my strength.
I won’t let one person determine my value.
We separated, then reunited, but the bitterness and poor communication continued, leading to a divorce.
A relationship breakup doesn’t mean either person is wrong or bad; it’s just a poor fit. I can find a better fit elsewhere, or I can stay single by going into private practice! 😀
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What is YOUR experience with writer’s block, depression, or burnout? Thanks for stopping by.
I could totally identify with this. Writing isn’t my primary profession either and perhaps that’s why I’ve never faced writer’s block. Plus, the words are the best way to let all depression/ anxiety/ guilt/ rejection pour out of oneself!
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Words are so healing, Noor! I’m glad we have other professions we enjoy.
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I’m finally getting to the point where my writing is helping me through my depression. I love the self messages you tell yourself. One thing I’ve learned is that it’s important to find your inner strength and see what’s going on right.
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Good one, Natalie–searching for what’s going well instead of wallowing in the bad. I get far fewer crisis calls without the old department, so that’s a blessing! Strengths are also important. Have you taken the Signature Strengths Test at http://authentichappiness.org ? It’s free and it’s great.
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Never let anyone else determine your value.
Thanks for co-hosting today!
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So true, Alex. 🙂
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Thanks Jennifer for these updates on this month’s books. Congratulations to Nick on his debut launch too. Wishing you an inspiring August writing.
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Oh I missed Nick! Congratulations to him as well. Always special to launch a debut novel into the world! Happy writing to you, Susan.
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Thanks for co-hosting, Jennifer. It’s nice seeing Chrys’ book everywhere.
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I love the idea of Chrys’s blog hop, Joylene. A perfect match for IWSG.
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Hi,
Thank you for co-hosting. I agree with Joylene. It is so nice to see Chrys’ book posted in many of the IWSG blogs.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat G @ EverythingMustChange
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Your new website looks great, Pat! Thanks for stopping by.
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You are the BEST crit partner ever, ever. I’m not paying you enough…or at all, haha. Next time we’re in the same city, dinner’s on me!
I’m glad you find solace in writing. I imagine poor communication is extra tough to deal with for you because you’re so good at it. But some people just don’t want to be communicated with unless they’re hearing exactly what they want to hear. Good for you moving on and away from the bad environment.
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Hehe. You return the favor with your wonderful critiquing! I’m really glad readers are finding Molly. Thank you for your comment about my communication. I strive to do well at that, but you’re right that I only can control part of the equation.
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Where have your covers been all my life?! Been in the job situation and it’s a soul suck! That’s why I like it here where everyone knows your name . . . or at least your pain and gain!! Thanks for co-hosting with me this month!!
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Ha ha, Nancy! Never thought I’d feature so many shirtless men on my covers, but that’s how it turned out. Too bad you’ve had a soul suck work situation as well.
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I was super fortunate to read Chrys’s book before it was released. The book led me down pathways I didn’t expect. It’s very well-written, but just as importantly it treads through some of the more ignored areas writers must tend to in order to complete a written body of work. I’m glad you’ve been able to find comfort (and an escape) in your writing from you ‘real’ life. 🙂 Sometimes just looking at writing that way helps.
Thank you for co-hosting!
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Sheri, I’m sure Chrys is grateful for your time and feedback. I haven’t had a chance to read her book yet, but it does seem to have wonderful depth for writers.
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Loved all of your compassionate narratives. Our value does not come from someone else’s opinion of us, for sure. It is the lens they are looking through full of their own stuff. (And being aware of that I filter through my own lens too!) Chrys’ book looks great!
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“Our value does not come from someone else’s opinion of us, for sure. It is the lens they are looking through full of their own stuff.” That is so well said, Lynn! Thank you.
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Self-talk and positive affirmations/mantras are powerful.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for participating in my blog hop!
And a big congratulations to Nicki!
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Mega congratulations to you, Chrys!
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Your new blog is great! Sometimes we’re our own best counselors! And thanks for co-hosting today.
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Thank you for stopping by, C Lee! I hate to tell you this, but I tried to comment on your blog post and I got an error message from Go Daddy saying my comment was blocked. 😦
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Ooh, update–the comment went through. 🙂
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Although I wrote because I wanted to tell fun stories, I admit that being downsized by my company did give me more of a burning desire to write.
Thanks for co-hosting this month’s IWSG bloghop!
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That’s cool that day job pain can fuel our writing, Ken! Thanks back at you for co-hosting.
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It’s funny, my wife is a psychologist and has gone through very similar-sounding experiences to you. She swore she would go into private practice (and better she broke up with her school than with me!) 😉
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Sucks for your wife, C.D. I’m glad she made the right choice to stick with you! 😀
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Too often I forget the power in using kind words to speak to myself. I’m grateful for the reminder, and to hear your story. Thank you, also, for co-hosting! Happy IWSG day.
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We all need help to be kinder to ourselves! Thanks for stopping by.
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I’ve experienced an interesting shift by talking to myself in the third person. I believe what we tell ourselves communicates the most powerful message we can receive. It can drown us or lift us up. Thank you for co-hosting our August IWSG blog hop.
Lynn La Vita blog: Writers Supporting Writers
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Ooh, I like that idea, Lynn. “Lynn is a great supporter of Jen by stopping by and commenting on Jen’s blog.” “Jen will return the favor!” 😉
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The importance of ‘fit’ is hard to overrate in any field. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise that the university that doesn’t ‘fit’ let you go. You’ll find a better ‘fit’ eventually and you would be happier for it too.
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Very true, Olga. It’s no fun trying to change yourself to fit or working with people who don’t value you. And after the way they treated me, I don’t want to fit with them.
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Congrats to Chrys, she is an amazing writer. I’m sorry to hear about you being ghosted in your workplace. That’s an awful feeling, which I have experienced. That old saying holds true for me, “When one door closes another door opens.” And hopefully for the better!
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All of the uncertainty with ghosting is not a good feeling at all, Cathrina. I even used the Brene Brown line with them: “Directness is kindness” and they still didn’t pony up. I agree with you that better things are in store for me in the future!
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Whew! I always feel like turning on a fan when I see your header, Jennifer! Writing was always secondary to my teaching career. Teaching demands so much, I loved it, and I put my whole heart into it. Now that I’m retired, I get to write more. Writing in a journal has always helped me deal with severe bouts of depression. Thanks for sharing your journey. And thanks for so-hosting today.
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Teaching is such a valuable profession, Fundy, and I’m glad you have more time to pursue writing now that you’re retired! I’ve heard great things about writing in a journal.
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Writer’s block? Analysis Paralysis?
A wise person once told me “You can’t push a river”, which seems to be another way to ‘go with the flow.”
I feel fortunate words flow from my mind to my fingertips.
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I’m an Aquarian and competitive swimmer, so I love all things water. Water is great for flow and surrender. Thanks for stopping by, PJ!
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I have cyclical depression, which I’m afraid will be triggered after I finally finish proofing files and have no choice but to return to full-time new writing. My normal daily wordcounts are in the toilet thanks to this neverending lockdown and the resulting complete lack of privacy. My wordcounts were rather dismal during prior depressions, but at least then I was in my own home and not stuck in a place I hate. It’s embarrassing to have such little fictional output this year!
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Boo for this damn pandemic messing with your writing, Carrie-Anne. And that sucks you have had recurrent depression. I hope you find some effective treatments.
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A writer sometimes has to be his/her own best friend. If ever I felt like a statue at work I’d remind myself that the pigeon wasn’t popular either.
Thanks for co-hosting!
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Ba ha ha! The pigeon is sometimes a jerkwad.
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Jennifer! It’s been a long time. I’ve missed you! I’m glad to see you again.
I’m glad that you don’t really deal with writer’s block. Have you ever had the desire to do something but when you sat down to do it, it was difficult to get “in the mood”? That’s how it feels!
I am a mother first then a writer second and I write when I want but there are times that it just doesn’t want to cooperate! You’re so blessed! xD
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Hi, Elizabeth! Oh, I don’t mean to imply that I never struggle with writing. Sometimes it’s painfully slow. Just that I don’t get bogged down for days or weeks with feeling super stuck. If I’m not in the mood, I just don’t write. I can imagine you feel very tired as a mom and writer!
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Thank you for hosting this month! I’m enjoying Chrys’ book. I have definitely dealt with all ogf the above in my writing and in real life.
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Sounds like readers are getting a lot out of Chrys’s book!
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Congrats Nicki and Chrys. Hard work pays off. You’re the proof.
Anna from elements of emaginette
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Hooray for hard work!
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Congrats to Nicki and Chrys! I have a hard time writing when I’m stressed. I need to be able to relax and let my mind wander in my story world. I can’t do that when my brain is spazzing out over life’s difficulties. And lately there have been a lot of those, for everyone. Sometimes you just can’t find that happy place, but you have to be kind to yourself and have faith that you will get there.
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P.S. Thank you for co-hosting!
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Hi Lori, I guess it can go either way for me–I can escape into writing when I’m stressed, or I don’t even try to write. Being kind to ourselves is tough sometimes. I’m all for having faith!
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Thanks for co-hosting this month.
I love the way you compare being “let go” to a break-up. I’m glad writing has been helping you through some tough times. It has helped me too, in the past, and is slowly getting back to a helpful place in my life again.
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Hi Toi, I tried to comment on your blog but I’m not sure it submitted correctly. I’m glad writing has been therapeutic for both of us!
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I’m sure, as a psychologist, you come across a lot of people and stories that would make great characters and plot lines or background info for fictional stories. 🙂
Sorry to read about your experience with one of those universities, though. “Al doende leert men” is a Dutch expression that basically means “practice makes perfect” or “you learn from experience”. I’m glad you managed to cut ties eventually.
Since my head is always overflowing with (writing) ideas, writer’s block is not a part of my vocabulary. 🙂 Thanks for co-hosting (and visiting my blog) this month!!
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It’s amazing what we’ll allow an employer/job to do to us that we wouldn’t necessarily let an individual outside work do to us. Sorry about the bad experience.
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My writing has been helping me lately. It is not my primary career either, although I want it to be. For some reason I always want a second chance. I think it was brave of you to give it a second go.
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Thanks for co-hosting.
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