Today I want to discuss dialectics. No, not dianetics, ha ha. I first heard about dialectics when I learned skills from Marsha Linehan’s “Dialectical Behavior Therapy” to use as a psychologist, but I think dialectics also apply to writing.
A dialectic is a union of opposites.
You have a dialectic when you have two opposing statements that are both true, joined by an AND (not a BUT!)
For example, here’s my dialectic for writing this blog post right before bedtime:
I want to go to bed (waah) AND I want to connect with my readers by writing a great post.
Both are true. In therapy we use dialectics to acknowledge both sides of the coin — to see the whole picture. Dialectics help increase empathy and decrease defensiveness.
* Alcohol helps you relax and alcohol gives you scary beer goggles.
* You love your mother and you are positively furious at your mother.
* You hate feeling dependent and you’re scared about him leaving.
Here are some dialectics I’ve noticed about writing:
* Writing is art AND writing is work.
* I feel less pressure to sell books because of my day job AND I get little writing done because of my day job.
* I want to please my readers AND I can’t please all readers.
* I write for myself AND I beam when a reader enjoys my novel.
* Writing is solitary AND writing is a way to connect to people.
* My cat Izzie is a good writing companion AND my cat Izzie has horrible fishy breath!
What dialectics have you noticed in YOUR life?
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Jennifer Lane Books 
I feel sometimes like my entire life is a collection of dialectics – and now I know the word for it. 🙂 I particularly relate to the dichotomy between writing being a solitary thing – which I crave – and also a way to connect with people – which I apparently need.Hey, thanks for joining Tumble 4 Ya! Can't wait to see who everyone picks. Is going to be fun. 😀
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Amen, Nicki. It's tough to hold opposing feelings together but to acknowledge and understand them makes it slightly easier. I have a need for social connection even after a day of counseling.Looking forward to tumbling 4 ya!
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I like the one about writing too. It's very true. Me, I'm glad I have a day job I can depend on AND my day job mentally drains me most days. That's one, right?
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You got it, Cherie! I hear ya about being mentally drained by your day job.
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Golly, you know how to mess with my scattered mind. I'm happy if I simply get the right grammar and tense all in one sentance. Feather
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I LIKE messing with minds, Feather! Mwa ha ha. Thanks for stopping by, dear.
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Oh, I loved this post! I think I can really get into dialectics. I love my mom, but she has a scary temper. My dad's fairly quiet, but he snores like a banshee! 🙂
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Hey Jack! Thanks for stopping by. I really enjoyed your post about procrastination. \”I love the feeling when I'm done writing for the day AND I have so much trouble getting started!\” My dad snores like a banshee too! Happy writing.
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